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The things they never tell ya before becoming an author…for instance, that some people may not like what you have to offer, lol. Shocking, I know! : )  As I’m currently working on the sequel to Self Preservation I thought I may as well re-issue my Norma Rae-like rant – defending poor Davis in all his desperate, panicked glory.

Thank goodness I never followed through on my threat to insert the random ‘crying character’ into all my books though, huh? Well…at least not yet.

 

 

The Crying Gayme

I was a little shocked recently to discover some sort of issue had popped up from a few folks in regards to the gay character in my gay novel doing a little too much crying.  At first I thought this was a joke, and I became paranoid as I searched frantically for the hidden camera in my office.  When it became all too apparent that this was seriously an issue, it got me wondering…am I to be considered less of a man, ED_SelfPreservation_coverlgdespite the genitalia that suggests otherwise, should I choose to cry?  Does crying make me a pansy boy?  This wasn’t the worst of it, though.  Apparently, the crying man is almost as bad as…hold your breath folks…A WOMAN!! As if being a woman is the worst thing ever!!  On behalf of my sisters and gal pals, I’m officially offended for you.  Seriously…I totally just had a sympathy menstrual cramp.

This has to be the single most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard!  I’m sorry…but when were magically transported back to the 1950’s and why the hell didn’t I get the memo? *Paging Tab Hunter to my boudoir!!* What…as long as I’m here I may as well make the best of it! : )

I hate to break it to you people, from-the-land-of-no-crying, but some of us do leak when faced with desperation and strong emotions.  If you honestly feel like a man who cries is weak, or less masculine than one who doesn’t?  Let’s just say I’m thankful I don’t live in your world! 

It takes a hell of a lot more strength and courage to allow other people to see the real you…ugly crying jag and all, then it does to never let anyone see past the mask.

For me personally, I’m not an equal opportunity weeper.  I can’t let myself loose it if anyone else in the vicinity is already crying.  Before you begin to admire all the butchie strength-in-a-crisis qualities I have…I should probably confess to the near melt-down I suffered when they canceled Gilmore Girls.  My point – you don’t have to be one or the other. 

I know for a fact I would never berate a man-friend (gay or straight) who had multiple melt-downs once he discovered his first and only love was going to marry someone else.  What’s he supposed to do in this situation…scratch his balls and grunt a few times before spitting out his chewing tobacco?

The thing I loved most once I accepted the fact that I was gay – I was no longer bound by the heterosexual model of male behavior.  No more pretending to like sports!!!  Hooray!!!!  If I wanna slap on a wig and heels while doing a Cha Cha down the boulevard…I can!  If I wanna have an all day Doris Day movie marathon…I can! If I wanna crawl up into a sling and let another man do deliciously naughty things to me…I can! And if I wanna cry afterwards, out of either joy or shame, I sure as fuck will.  I may even scratch my balls and grunt a few times in the process! : )   

I may not be able to marry the person I choose to spend the rest of my life with…but I’ll be damned to hell and back before I let anyone make me feel bad for crying about that fact.  You can’t take that away from me – it’s mine and I’m going to keep it.  I’m half tempted to throw in completely unnecessary crying into every single book at this point just to irritate the cold-cruel-dead-inside-meanies out there.  I’ll create one no-name character who’ll be in every book.  I’ll have him periodically walk down the street bawling for no apparent reason.  That’ll learn ya!!  LOL

Maybe I do like to play football on the weekends, or maybe I just like to sit on the sidelines and watch, or drool as the case may be.  Neither way is WRONG or BAD!  And shame on anyone who says anything differently. 

I guess at the end of the day, my message is this:  This is my gay party and I’ll cry if I want to! 

Much Love

Ethan